Ammunition: Obviously when one is going to be fighting off hordes of government sponsored assassins and the industrial military complex you're going to need something to fight them with.
Sensible Clothing: Let's face it, if you're going to be fighting for your freedoms you'll need some comfortable, loose fitting clothing to move around in. Be sure to match camouflage schemes!
Non-Perishable Food Items: For those sieges that just seem to last forever!
Bottled Water: Because while you can survive by drinking your own piss... who'd want to?
Sarah Palin: I know this seems like an odd Christmas gift but as she's proven many times over she's utterly without shame and willing to sell herself to the highest bidder. And let's face it we're going to need someone to hunt moose for the meat and hides. And for an older chick she's got a pretty fine rack.... ass ain't so bad either.
Assorted Household cleaning products: Come on... really? I don't have to explain this one do I? *Sigh* Alright. Germs are bad and lead to sickness, you're likely not to have much access to medical care unless kidnapping Tyler Andrea was in your plan for going into hiding like it was for us. Pre-med, you go boy! Also you can make things go boom with the right mixtures.
Baseball Bat with a nail in it: There is no finer melee weapon than this crude way of beating even the most staunch of hippies off your lawn.
Chickens: They lay eggs and taste good. Also they're very good for 'Rocky' like training montages. 'Yer gonna be faster than greased lightnin' Rock!' Thanks Mick!
Trained river dolphins: What? I can't be the only one that saw that documentary on History channel about the Navy training dolphins to warn against mines and intruders in water? That was so cool!
Genetically enhanced attack squirrels: Self explanatory.
Raw Meat: To put in Tracy's bowl outside the closet we keep him in for emergencies.
Porn: And lots of it. Chris will need something to do in his past time.
And there you have it folks. A quick list of what to get for that revolutionary on your Christmas list! Hope it helps. Merry Christmas... or for those politically correct of you out there... Happy Chaunakawanzmas!
The Risen
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